Pouring Rain
by perichan
Summary: Howard and Vince have yet another fight and Vince runs from the flat into the wet british summer outside. Can Howard find him before he does something he'll regret? Howince, r and r


A/N: I should really be concentrating on another story but I've temporarily hit a dead end with that and so I'm running with a story I've had for a while now. Just a one off but its fairly long. Please enjoy and r and r, happy travels!

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Pouring Rain

Howard sat alone in the flat perched on the edge of Vince's bed, absently stroking the pillow where the younger mans head had rested just a few hours earlier, hating himself for the damage he'd caused. The morning had started as any other, he'd woken up, had a wash, got dressed, and made tea and cheese on toast for two, not that Vince ever ate breakfast, not that Vince ate much at all these days. He'd walked back into the bedroom and placed the food and the tea on the table between their beds and gently shaken the younger man awake. Tiredly lifting himself into the sitting position Vince reached for the tea and took a large swig. Once the cup was placed back on the table Vince erupted into a coughing fit, throwing both hands over his mouth and doubling over. When he stopped coughing he pulled his hands away from his mouth and after a quick glance at them placed them either side of him on the bed and subconsciously rubbed them on the sheets under the covers. His eyes were sunken and his skin was clammy, his hair sticking to his forehead in a very un-Vince like fashion. Placing a hand on the sweaty surface and feeling a temperature Howard warned the younger man to stay in bed fearing that he was catching a cold or something similar. Vince had scowled at this and thrown the covers from his body protesting that he had to meet Leroy in town to do some last minute shopping before preparing for a gig he had that afternoon and that the whole affair was to be finished by a drinking session at one of the dank pubs Vince found himself at lately. Howard had pulled the covers back across the mans body and insisted he dropped the plans and rested for the day. This had erupted into a full blown argument about how Howard didn't understand what it meant to have friends and how Vince was too obsessed with people liking him to care about himself. Vince had stormed off into the bath room to get changed and began liberally applying make up to his features to hide his unwell state. This had made Howard angrier and caused him to explode into a torrent cynicism, sarcasm and verbal abuse directed straight at Vince, no barriers in place to withhold the nastier thoughts that Howard thought but never dared say, until now. Through the shower of hate that Howard shot as his flat mate, not once did Vince stick up for himself or throw an insult of his own, he didn't even move. He just stood in front of the mirror, his expression growing more and more painful as the words flew at him like knives.

When Howard's rant finally came to an end he just stood, panting quietly in the doorway to the bathroom, looking at the broken expression on the other mans face, realising just how far he'd stepped over the line. Vince's eyes finally looked away from Howard's face and fell to the floor. He mumbled something about being late and walked towards the door, gingerly pushing past Howard. As Howard's eyes fixed on the man's face one last time he could have sworn he saw tears rolling down those familiar pale cheeks. But before he could say or do anything Vince had ran as fast as he could out of the flat and down the stairs, not even stopping to slam the door behind him, leaving Howard alone in the flat with nothing but his guilt and the sound of the pouring rain coming through the open door. He'd really gone and put his foot in it this time.

Looking down at the empty bed he sat on he ran his hand down the middle of the sheets as if stroking the sleeping body of his best friend, something he did occasionally as the younger man slept. As his hand reached under the covers a spot of red attracted his attention causing him to throw the covers on the floor. On the bed sheets either side of where Vince had been sitting were pinkie red smudges that vaguely resembled the imprint of hands. Howard's eyes widened as he realised where the blood had come from. Vince's coughing fit wasn't as innocent as it looked, he'd actually coughed up blood, and by his lack of response it'd happened before. Without another thought Howard darted for the open front door and flew into the streets, his eyes scanning every face before him for a glimpse of that familiar pale skin, that black hair, those pointed features, but to no avail. Vince was nowhere to be seen and the rain was coming down hard as ever, but Howard wasn't put off, he'd search every London street until he found his best friend, he wasn't going to let him down again.

Vince had run and run until he didn't know where he was anymore. A mixture of rain and tears had distorted his vision and smudged his make up so that black lines ran down his face and stained his shirt. He found himself in a park before long and as much as he wanted to keep running every muscle in his body ached, his head pounded and his lungs stung as he drew in deep breaths of cold British air. Slowing to a snails pace he finally collapsed on the ground of the deserted park and punched the gravel beneath him, the skin on his knuckles splitting, spilling fresh blood on his already blood stained hands. The first time he'd coughed up blood he was petrified but he knew why it happened. He didn't eat, he drank every night and he'd even began to take up smoking. The months of abuse had finally caught up with him and he had no one to blame but himself for the pain he was feeling. And it wasn't just physical pain that ailed him.

His face screwed into a grimace as his mind wandered to the silent feelings he locked away in his heart and fresh tears began to fall down his cheeks. Painfully he lifted himself up off the ground and faced the heavens, large heavy drops of rain hitting his cheeks and eyelids as he stood breathing deeply with his mouth agape in the middle of the path, his arms held slightly out to his sides, lost in the moment. Slowly dropping his head he looked around him, his mind temporarily blank as his heart tried desperately to keep those hollow feelings deep down inside him as they inched their way further towards the surface. Noticing a large lake and a jetty to his right he trod heavily towards the inviting wooden structure, not noticing the broken police tape that brandished the structure unsafe and leaned against the rotting beams and broken fence. The area he found himself reminded him somehow of his own mind. That large empty surface of the lake rippling with the rain water. The jetty's fragile state, broken and worn, close to collapse, that feeling of emptiness that accompanied him as he stood next to the waters edge staring blankly at the broken surface, his reflection, distorted and ugly, staring back at him with a hatred he could never feel for another human being, just for himself. A thousand images flashed through his mind from different places in time, day old memories, year old memories, memories he wasn't even sure were real, but each one had something in common, someone.

Vince sat by the wooden window of his hut as he watched Howard singing about his isolation, wanting nothing more than to run at the man and tell him that he's not alone, no matter where they are whether its at the flat or on a deserted island. Howard sat next to him in that stupid tweed utility suit zipped down to a pair of swimming trunks, a menacing look on his face whilst all Vince could think about was how remarkably smooth looking the hairy man's skin looked. The time he'd convinced Howard to dress as a Goth to impress those girls and how surprisingly sexy he'd looked before ripping Vince's one-of-a-kind black pants. The times they'd just played about in their underwear throwing Satsuma's at each other or cheered each other up by donning poncho's and dancing around like gender confused fairy's.

Tears once again welled in Vince's eyes and he blinked furiously, attempting to push them back but only succeeding in rolling them down his cheeks a little faster. Howard was his best friend, his accomplice, his soul mate, they did everything together and no matter how trivial it was it always made Vince smile knowing that no matter what Howard would always be there for him. Yet he didn't know Vince's true feelings and as much as Vince wanted to tell him he knew what Howard's reaction would be. He didn't even like human contact, how would he react to a guy of all people telling him that he wanted nothing more than to strip him naked and make love to him every time he smiled his way. These thoughts and feelings had been tearing at Vince for a long time causing him to try new ways to bury his emotions. At first he just stopped eating to see if the older man would notice and at least pretend to care. When that didn't work he took to drowning his sorrows in sleazy clubs and having sex with random strangers to feel something, anything other than the vast emptiness he felt every time Howard ignored him, or shouted at him or even when he just took a second glance at a pretty woman walking down the street. Vince hated that Howard did these things but he hated himself even more for being so selfish about it. How did he expect Howard to look at him that way when he never told the man how he felt. And he'd never tell him, he couldn't do it, he couldn't stand the idea of the look that would be on the mans face, a look of confusion, embarrassment, disgust even. He didn't know how he'd react but he knew it wouldn't be good. So he quietly poisoned himself and now he was paying the price.

His body was going limp as his muscled strained to keep him upright. Again he burst into a coughing fit and fell to his knees so his head overhung the jetty and fell dangerously close to the waters surface. Grabbing at his chest with one hand and clinging on to the edge of the jetty with the other he felt himself weakening. The cold winter rain had soaked all of his clothes, chilling him to the bones, and only now did he realise just how badly he was shaking. As his coughing came to an end the unmistakable metallic taste of blood filled his mouth he brought a hand to his lips smudging a trickle of the crimson liquid across his chin. He went to lift himself from the floor but fell awkwardly, the whole jetty shaking and groaning under the strain. Vince lifted a hand to his forehead as a throbbing headache wormed its way inside his head. His skin, though soaked with cold rain water, felt clammy rather than just wet, his skin sweaty but like ice to the touch. Bringing his hand down his face to rest on his eyes he noticed his vision begin to blur and the world around him losing focus. He stretched another hand to the rotten railing beside him and once again tried to lift himself up, and again fell to the floor. There was a crunch and a snapping noise from the jetty below Vince and the frame swayed menacingly. Vince's hands dropped to the floor as his vision blurred further. The jetty gave another groan and was followed by another, louder crack and the splash of something heavy and important sounding falling into the water. Again the jetty swayed but this time Vince swayed with it, his body leaning closer to the water as the wood beneath him bowed and cracked under the pressure.

"Save me Howard," the young man whispered, fresh tears falling from his eyes. "Please. I need you so much, I can't do this without you. Please, save me, please." his voice trailed off as a loud crack echoed across the pond. Vince. The sound of Howard's voice resounded in his head as a whisper, just repeating his name over and over growing steadily louder. A slight smile washed over Vince's face as another deafening crack emanated from the wooden beams beneath him. "I love you Howard, I'll always love you." The jetty swayed again and Vince's eyes closed as he felt the structure beneath him crumbling and as if on cue the jetty let out its final crack as the main support beam split straight down the middle and sent the jetty crashing to the water. Vince felt the cold lake water hit him in the chest and wind him as he fell deeper into the icy water. Before his head was completely submerged he heard that familiar voice calling his name once again and he couldn't help but smile slightly as his mind played tricks on him even now.

"Vince!" Howard's body hit the water with such force he thought he'd be crushed but he ignored the pain and the cold and dove to the bottom of the lake, groping through the murky darkness for a piece of skin, some fabric, anything. He just had to find him. He felt scales brush past his finger tips as a confused fish swam from the madness frantically and then his fingers felt bottom of a shirt floating in the water. Grabbing at the fabric he pulled Vince's limp figure to his body and kicked off from the bottom of the lake, seemingly taking a lifetime to break through the surface of the water. Making sure Vince's head was above the water he swam with all his energy back to the ruined remains of the jetty, using the fallen beams as leverage back to the shoreline.

He dragged Vince's body onto the grass followed by his own soaked form. Before he could even take a breath he crawled to Vince's side and put a hand to his neck feeling for a pulse. Feeling one he couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh between gritted teeth. Putting a hand on his friends chest he felt for the rise and fall of Vince taking in breaths, but there was none and the smile fell from Howard's features. Remembering his old CPR training from his days as a bin man he bent his head down to Vince's mouth and their lips locked as Howard emptied his lungs into his friends. He bent his ear down to Vince's mouth and listened for the sound of his lungs emptying, but it didn't come. Taking another deep breath he bent down to Vince's mouth once again and filled the pale man's lungs with oxygen. Vince's eyes shot open and he began to gag, coughing up stagnant water mixed with blood. Howard helped him on to his side so he could empty the water from his lungs. He rubbed a hand gently but firmly over Vince's back to help the process but upon feeling the welcoming hand Vince launched himself at the older man, wrapping his arms around his waist and sending them both crashing to the floor. Fresh tears began to fall from his eyes and he could do nothing but shake and cry, grasping at Howard's shirt and trying to pull them closer together than was physically possible before the larger man threw him off in disgust at human contact. But Vince's arms weren't wrenched from Howard's sides, instead he felt the familiar arms of the older man wrap themselves around his back pulling him onto his lap. A large hand pulled Vince's head into Howard's chest and began rocking him like a child. Vince could do nothing but cling to the man and weep hysterically into his collar as Howard made soothing 'shh'ing sounds still cradling the man in his lap. Both men were in shock but neither had been happier to see the other.

Eventually Vince's sobbing thinned and through strained breaths he forced his voice to be heard, a voice he'd kept locked away for a long time. "I love you Howard." fresh tears rolled down his cheeks as he tried to keep himself composed, preparing for this to be the end of their friendship. "I've always loved you and its been killing me not to be able to say this. I know its wrong and disgusting and you probably hate me and want to throw me back in the lake but I need to say this, I need you to know. I'm so sorry. I love you so much." his body began to shake as he fought back more hysterical tears. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me, please." he felt Howard's grip on his body loosening and prepared himself to be thrown to the floor, but instead he felt the cold, wet surface of Howard's lips against his own and for the first time in months he felt that forgotten happiness wash over him as Howard pulled Vince's lips closer to his own. Vince threw caution to the wind and his tongue probed at the flesh on Howard's lips begging for entry. Like an answered prayer Howard's lips parted and he and Vince lost themselves in each other for what felt like an eternity.

"I love you too little man, so much, but never frighten me like that again or I'll come at you demon ninja on a bungee cord, and then you'll really be sorry."

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Hope you enjoyed it, I will eventually write some non-angsty Boosh fics but right now I'm having too much fun torturing Vince, sorry hun, I love ya really! r+r!


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